How could a man, somewhere far away, unknown to me, understand the thoughts and feelings of my heart, and explain the “WHY” behind them, so eloquently?

For years now, I have had this unexplained urge to explore,
and in a large sence, I’ve created my dream experience.
Opportunities to go here and there, even if it meant sleeping on couches, and in strange beds. Anything to get close to diversity, delicious foods, beautiful sights, and my favorite thing of all…PEOPLE.
People of every color and size,
talking and laughing differently,
believing in different things,
yet, with hearts that love in the same language.

One minute it’s Seattle Rain, next Southern Fried Pickles, then DisneyLand.
From Little Rock to Big Sir,
and as far away as Kenya and Tokyo,
my territory ever expanding.
No one ever really knowing where I will be when,…including me.

And even though it’s what I wanted,
this brain scramble of uncertainty,
and getting comfortable with it, has been a journey.
It still is.
And sometimes I wonder why
and what’s the cost,
and is there really a gain?

to finally gain understand that this growing phenomena of crying at least once a day,
not because I’m sad,
but because I see something so exquisite that it takes my breath away,
is actually because of this willingness live outside my comfort zone and not let my mind get into a grove,
brings unspeakable joy.

It doesn’t matter if I’m in Utah, California, Florida, or Washington.
It doesn’t matter if I’m having fun, sick, or doing something un-prefered;
if I become still,
somehow my mind has developed this new habit of AWE.

Awe in love
in anger
in brokenness.
in frustration, anger, even terror.
in support
in forgiveness
in families
in a prisoner
in freedom
in babies
in a homeless soul
in plants and natural food
in death
in birth
in pain
in ecstasy
truly, the miracles everywhere, in every circumstance,
in short,
the AWE in ALL of life.

I thought it was a choice.
A new formed deliberate habit.
My Gratitude journal, really, reeeally working.
But then it began to happened so often, so without effort or any direct attention expended, that I got curious.
I started ask questions.

“Why AM I so grateful, even in such trying circumstances?”
Others would ask too, and I didn’t really know.

And now I find this…
this explanation.
And it hits home.
It’s true.

Instead of driving the same way home, day after day in a stupor, I fly to new destinations. I land on the ground and trust, as my GPS guides me to yet another ‘house meeting,’ that the strangers I’m about to meet, will be friends once I part at the end of the night.

Yes, of course, the courage and awareness required to orientate in so many different environments, and individuals, accepting the unfamiliar, new and not always pleasant, engages the mind to a state of alertness which not only takes in possible dangers, unease and fear, but also excitement, beauty and miracles everywhere. It makes total sense.

As this discourse flows out of me I recognize that this degree of exploration, wouldn’t work for everyone.
It isn’t always easy for me, even.

But Holy Cow, to gain understanding that this is what is happening when I pack my bag for the millionth time in a month,
and unpack it, and can’t find my toothbrush,
and struggle not sleeping in that lumpy bed away from the comforts of home,
this is the reward!?
a ‘wondering brain,’a consequence of this wandering body,
a life growing in total and utter amazement continually,
Gratitude becoming wired in,
allowing me to take in the magic ALL around….

If this is the cost for THAT,

I’ll take it!

I’ll give it.

I’ll continue to live it.

Because I have a responsibility to AWE!